More heat, please

The weather turned so hot so fast, it’s enough to give you whiplash. I am not complaining. Far from it! But if I look like I can’t really believe I’m wearing a skirt & sandals, well, I can’t.

Far end of the BART platform

I’ve always loved the view from the end of the Rockridge BART platform, but hadn’t managed to get a photo shoot there. Hardly anyone ever walks over that far. But today, as soon as I got onto the platform, I saw my photographer hanging out down there, so made a beeline for him. Casually, of course.

When I asked him for the picture, he agreed & then said, “What, is BART a big thrill for you?”

I gave a noncommital laugh in response.

After he took the shot, I looked at it & said something about liking the view from there. He agreed, we both looked out over the tracks, & he commented, “That pigeon is walking really close to the third rail, & it’s wet. A real daredevil, that one is!”

“Living dangerously,” I agreed, & took my leave.

Rainy morning BART ride

After that first glance she seemed to decide that she wasn’t what I was shooting, or if I was, it didn’t matter. She rubbed her nose, settled down, & paid not another jot of attention to me—or to bumps of the train—as I watched her apply makeup with a practiced hand. She drew on lipliner, filled in her lips with one color & then another, & then casually brushed on mascara, all as steadily & precisely as if she could just as well do it on a rollercoaster or a runaway horse.

I wish you could see her perfectly pedicured feet. She wore a very snappy pair of new-looking orange sandals that matched her headband. Meanwhile, I was bundled up in waterproof hiking boots, ski parka, wool hat, scarf & wristwarmers.

Bancroft Library

This has nothing to do with today’s shoot, but I happen to have a book in this library. I spent most of 1995 writing, designing, mocking up, laying out, printing, & editioning that little bitty book-in-a-box. Not a bad way to spend a year, actually, although at the time I suffered over it. Silly youth.

Film festival

The film festival this year has been serving an unexpected purpose for me. What a blessed relief to be distracted from Japan’s horrific situation for a solid couple of hours at a time, to be immersed in such a variety of worlds that have one key thing in common: none of this had happened yet—the earthquakes (450 aftershocks at last count), the tsunami, the nuclear nightmare.

Tonight I went out in the pouring spring rain to Pacific Film Archive, thinking it would be the perfect place for a shoot. I was early enough so that after my picture was taken, I had a good ten minutes to wait for the film. Usually this would prompt avid people-watching, but instead I found myself sinking into the seat, feeling how frayed my nerves were, how emotionally exhausted. I stared absently at the screen where slides rotated, silently announcing film & museum events. Five days of worry, five days of trying to wrap my brain around something so overwhelming, five days during which all my prayers felt so inadequate… I felt it all catch up to me at once.

Then the film rolled & took me off to Shanghai.

Alta Bates

As a result of joining the credit union, my most convenient ATM is now inside the hospital. Today I saw that they have this construction going on, & thought it a suitable background—a change of pace, anyway. Even better, there was my photographer sitting directly across, obviously a bit bored, waiting for something.

To go with the space, I consciously chose a sort of flat, static posture. I haven’t really given any thought to how I posed for any previous pictures (except for the Tartine one!), & I’ll probably default back to that, but today for some reason it seemed right.